Allison Moore
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Rosalyn:
Are you breaking up with me? Yet in the same breath you tell me you love me. Now what am I to think? Allie
What contribution can I make? I enjoy forums. I enjoy writing blog messages. It is a good feeling to use my intellect, which is not easily come by in verbal communication with others. Do others find this so?
So when you were 18 and began to have your first experiences of the deep well of grief you said you discovered within yourself, you had no tangible loss to attribute it to. Is that correct? Am I understanding correctly? I am not so sure most people experience that. But as you went on, you began to understand in a closer, more intimate way the suffering of this internal captive, as it were as an excruciating matter of bad karma carrying over from your long ago past. Yes, you are probably correct. And yet it was empowering and pleasurable, I might guess? This would lead you along in the direction prescribed by your similar actions of the past, revealing your karmic propensity to repeat the same mistakes. The propensity we share to move toward pleasure, even at its most minute level, and to reject pain was once, I believe, a method of guidance to humanity,. It was intended for better things than control of us. Now, sadly, it is as if we are but countless herds of animal being driven this way and that in solidarity to the original intent. So this is a transmission. It is important to get the words out before we can allow for any acceptance of the reality with which we are faced today. Best of luck, Miss Rosa. I will end here, for now. I hate to cater to the escape here at the end, so Miss Google Eyes is signing off for now with her apologies for the irritant. I send best wishes. Allie
Now I don’t understand and I have had to read your email several times over. Enlightened buddhas and those awakened, the bodhisatts, continue to be hard at work so that unenlightened samsara may soon be liberated. In this we take great pleasure. I refer to the buddha and bodhisattva ideal of the day “running into the arms of the Orcs.” They were like the mutant ninjas of the book “The Lord of the Rings,” if you remember that from your youth. So you must understand how I must feel as I have been present all along. We have all borne witness to so many an athamas that cannot be accepted within our psyche. Humanity nor animal nor spirit of tree and grasses are also hard-pressed to go on. But you, Rosa-Lyn, are unaware of this and would expect me to enter into a private conversation with you? I believe in the rule, “Two or more.” So this would entail my having another who could stand as my friend, and you would need no other. We could converse and you would be well. I would like that very much. So perhaps we can go on like this for awhile, sharing our thoughts on forum for so long as it goes on. After that there will be another class that I might attend and there will be another forum. So do you think we can continue to forge our friendship in that way? Allie
You asked if I have kids. You say the root of all emotions is longing. You say you find the philosophy of Buddhism extremely helpful but it is difficult to put into action. Longing as the root of all emotions would be to say that what underlies even the root itself, like the soil beneath the plant, as it were, or first beginning, longs for its birth. It is quite a beautiful thought. How old was your son when he passed? Knowing so little, I find it difficult to respond in any more helpful way as much as I would like to. The abstract does not well lend itself to piteous, righteous sentiment, I have found as well. And it worries me. But I have thought about courage. If that might help. Allie<!–more–>
Hello, Rosa-Lyn. I find it odd that you would like to communicate with me privately in either a phone call or email. I do not readily correspond privately with people I barely know. Before I were to consider complying with such a request, I would need to hear from you on forum explaining what you find so interesting or worthy of your attention. As it stands, I am not in touch with anyone at the present time and I would have to make you the exception to the rule. As much as I like you. Would you like to tell me how you feel? I will listen. Though I feel a little that you may be disappointed in me in personal close contact. I am presently in recovery, you see, after many years on the lam. Whatever that means. So I leave it up to you and I cannot guarantee a positive result. Allie
I am stunned to hear you say that “David” who is our instructor for the class would be mentioned in such a context that he or we would be sad that he had not responded to a forum thread. Funny, that had crossed my mind just today, that if anyone were to wish a question engaged by the instructor, one need only direct such question to he on the forum. The Buddha families are simply astrological designations to categorize psychologically the basic categories of students, whether one fits better into which category — Buddha, ratna, padma, vajra or karma. I consider you, Rosalyn, a karma-vajra, I presume? Although I don’t know you well. I have not studied much in many years, though I have read about your departed son in your forum entry, Love and Grief, and I do sympathize. I was hoping for a response when you mentioned about it the first class I attended and could not help but feel sorry for you. So I did think on it, the dire sadness a mother must face at the loss of her only child. I commiserate. I will get back to you with more to say when I have had some time to put some good thought into it as I know you deserve. It will take a little while. I am feeling rather munchy today. Grungy or something. You know how it is. Take care. For now. Allie
OMG. It must seem very rude. Somehow my message in reply to Harmony Spivey did not reach the forum. I wrote back:
Hi, Harmony. It’s nice meeting you. I’m enjoying the class, too. But I saw after sending that it’s “Field of Bodhi,” not “Field of Manure.” Lol. Now Blaire has to send to everyone postings about “Field of Manure.” Lol again. Allie
It certainly sounds good who you think you are is ego’s creation. So you’re saying that you understand that ego has held subject your nature, buddha nature, for a long time and that ego creates its own version of reality. Interestingly you are alluding to the basic principle expressed by your use of the phrase “think you are” in direct reciprocal relation to “ego’s creation.” So I am made happy to hear this from you. I’m not sure what similar qualities you mean.
Hi Rosalyn. It was nice to hear from you. In answer to your question why single out those three negative emotions, they came up in our class. Shame and jealousy as secondary kleshas. So I love the dharma and have thought much on the teachings. I like to contemplate and think for myself. I would love to discuss more with you as well. Creations from the get-go I cannot confirm. Are you so sure?
Hello, Blaire Martin and everybody from the class who might be reading this. I haven’t completed the readings yet — thank you for posting them — but I do have a rather general question about the use of the forums. It’s always a dilemma of the anonymous online communication that one might not know the correct approach for one thing — in other words, whom one is talking to. The other thing is that, is the forum to be used for questions one might have to the instructor? Or is it more for just thoughts one would like to share with others? And now it’s like I don’t even want to send this through, it’s so futile somehow, like fracking oneself to death with every observation. I think it’s all very impersonal in a way. But it is so very personal at the same time. I’m halfway through the readings and appreciating them very much. — Allie
